Good Riddance Hamuary... Hello Hamburary!

Sorry for my absence. I have no excuse for not blogging, except to say, January has been the most stressful month at my stupid job. I should have stayed in New York.
So, to cheer myself up, I am going to post some of my favorite things... Ooo Christian Louboutins you say? Well yes, that is one of my favorite things, but there is something else I am slightly obsessed with too.
I don't have a name for it though. I will call it, Objects of the opposite scale.

Anything that is large but is meant to be small, or something that is meant to be small, is really enormous (haha, whenever I read that word, my mind automatically thinks of penis's, is that normal?)
So I thought I would post a few pictures to show what I'm talking about.




























































Also, I have been tagged by Angus...the fucker.
1. Does your house have a back door? No, I don't have a house (sad face here)
2. How many pets do you have? One. His name is Mike.
3. What word makes you smile? Ginger Fucker.
4. What is your favorite song? 9
5. Do you like clams? Man, that is a weird freekin' question. Yes I do, I'm from PEI.
6. Have you ever broken a bone? No.
7. Do you like spontaneity or consistency?I don't know! I like both, and the right situation!
8. Franks and beans? BEANS and WIENERS!!
9. The Scorpions' greatest record? Oh, now your makin' me mad!!!
10. Sex on the first date? Yes Please.
11. Larry King or Nancy Grace? Larry...Nancy make me want to punch myself in the c word.
12. What is the first thing you get at a buffet? a plate
13. Most treasured item? Christian Louboutins.
14. Happiest memory? Too many.
15. Saddest memory? I don't know! Angus, your a right Baz!
16. Comfort food? cake.
17. Guilty pleasure? Kyle Minogue.
18. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant where you could not read the menu? Yes. Japanese anyone?
19. Favorite soup? Claaaam Chowda.
20. Favorite swear word? Jesus. and the C word

The ABC, HAM'S....

Already Been Chewed

A- Available or single? Are These not the same?
B- Best Friend? Melinda and Mike
C- Cake or Pie? CAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D- Drink of Choice? Dettol and Wine (not together though, that is sick)
E- Essential Item? Hair straightener
F- Favorite Color? Red and Pink (not together though, that is sick)
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? Worms! You have to put them in the freezer for 15 minutes before you eat them....YUM!
H- Hometown? Bootlegger City
I- Indulgence? PORN and shoes (not together though, that is sick)
J- January or February? They are both shite.
K- Kids? No Thank-You.
L- Life is incomplete without? Breathing and shoes
M- Marriage Date? Where? What?.......... Hello?
N- Number of Siblings? 1 and a half.
O- Oranges or apples? They are both shite. (well, apples)
P- Phobias/Fears? The Grudge.
Q- Favorite Quote? "No but yeah but yeah but yeah no but yeah no but yeah... ...but no because I'm not even going on the pill... ...because Nadine reckons they stop you from getting pregnant."-Vicki Pollard
R- Reason to Smile? Porn.
S- Season? Spring and Pepper
T- Tag three people! Melinda, Bug and Snipper Kitty.

A Helping Ham from Victoria's Secret

I never thought I would advertise my happiness about my boobs, but here I am!
I just find it so amazing the difference a good bra can make in your life. Now, I'm not saying this bra has "changed" my life. It doesn't go to work for me, it doesn't do the dishes or clean the toilet. But it does make my shirts, blouses and jackets look waaaaaay better.
Here is a picture of me before my discovery of this amazing bra........................
For some reason I was constantly wearing a green hoodie with a non-sequitur hat.

Now this is what I look like.................................................................................................
You can really notice the difference, can't you?

Look, even with a different top, it still works......................................................................................

And the wonders it does when you're helping them along......................................................................


Now, I just need to find something that will keep me from looking like this every Tuesday week.........

OOOOOhhhh gotta ham it

I am so drunk right now!!! I just had my "Holiday" Party for work----------its Jan 11th!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whatever!!! or as my new saying is... What EV.
I had a blast, my boobs looked great I must say!!! I got a new bra from Victoria Secret. Its called "Very Sexy". It'll push everything up to make whatever you got look fuckin great! I got lots of complements for them. Someday I'll let them know that they have been doing a good job.
I don't think I work with ANY straight guys. Actually, one... that I know of, but I've worked with him for so long, that I think of him as my little brother... not as a "really looking at my boobs kinda of guy"
So anyway, enough of my blabbering on and on, I'll probably be pretty embarrassed of this post in days to come, but hey, live in the moment!! I really wanted to wear my Christian Louboutins out tonight but I couldn't. OOOOHHH I know........ Poor me!!!
The truth is though... I stepped on a piece of glass on Tuesday night, and it hurt like FUCK. I stepped on it with all 400lbs of weight I have. Its all the cultchie's fault. Well, not really, but I'll blame it on him, cause its easier.
But really though, I can't walk on my right foot...it hurts soooooooo bad. But even more honestly, even if I didn't step on that piece of glass, I probably wouldn't wear them. They are for the MOST SPECIAL occasions. We are even going to the "opera" for V-day so I can wear them. ( I am so dumb, I know) I actually do want to go though, I have never been. I think it will be enjoyable, especially at the new Four Seasons for the Performing Arts. ( and the fact I get a discount)
Anyway.................................... The entire reason I started THIS blog entry was because I LOVED Liz's "Movie of your Life"entry. So I am being a total copy cat.............
Here we go................

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

New Ham City

40 Things that happened Before, During and After New York.

1. Mike got questioned by the US Home Land Security Team at Toronto Pearson.
...perhaps this had something to do with it....Those glorified security guards are not huge fans of Mohawks.
















2. We got to fly on the WORST AIRLINE EVER. Northwest Airlines SUCK ASS.

3. We got to spend 4 hours in the Detroit Airport.
Surprisingly one of the coolest airports I've ever been to (strange for the poorest city in the United States...gotta love America)

4.We ate at a dodgy curry house and survived.

5. I got to live out my dream...



6...... Twice.

7. We ate at a great Italian Restaurant in Greenwich Village and had a waiter who was older then New York City. He had the shakiest hands ever, but he insisted on pouring our wine every time our glasses looked like they had a slight sip out of them. He managed to get most of the wine in the glass too. He was cool.

8. We went to a pub in the Bowery that gave 2 for one Guinness.

9. We went to the oldest Irish pub in New York City. I saw 3 willy's in less then 8 minutes. And squeezed past a load of twats to go take a piss, and left quickly afterwards.










10. I got my bangs cut, and Mike got his Mohawk more Mohawkey.















11. Got pissed at the coolest Irish Pub in New York City. Paddy Reily's.

12. Walked the shit out of the city.

13. Saw some BIG ASS Balls!














14. Walked the shit out of the city.

15. Went up and down the escalator's at Macy's... With glee.














16.Enjoyed the view from our hotel room window.














17. Thoroughly enjoyed the choice between either blistering hot, or hypothermia inducing cold showers at the Gershwin Hotel.

18. Walked the shite out of New York City.














19. Forced Mike to eat a large Pizza.














20. Waited for Mike to get a tattoo.














21. At the Chelsea hotel.

















22. Ate at the best Diner in the City, Malibu on West 23rd St. mmm...heart attack!

23.Celebrated our 3rd year anniversary at Spice Market restaurant in the Meat Packing District on New Years Eve. Super cool atmosphere, super bland food.














24. Paid $10 US for a bottle of Fiji Water. We had a choice between, "Pellegrino, Fiji or New York Tap". The waiter was a bit of a waz.

25. But I looked great!


















26. Celebrated New Years Eve at Paddy Reily's Pub.














27. Got up on a Rainy New Years Day and walked the shite out of the city.


















28. Loved every minute of it.

29. Ate some of the best pastry EVER. Probably gained about 5 pounds in 3 days.

30. Had our flight cancelled from New York to Detroit 20 minutes before boarding, due to "weather". Our flight was the ONLY flight to be cancelled in the entire New York area. Was told the next flight was not until the next morning at 6AM. Thank God we had insurance. EVERY flight out to Toronto was sold out.

31. Thanks to RBC we stayed at the Marriott Laguardia, had prime rib for dinner, bought all the snacks and magazines we could get, and made a bunch of phone calls home and had the best shower we had in 3 days.

32. All at the expense of RBC.

33. Learned early on that Northwest Airlines is THE WORST AIRLINE EVER.

34. Boarded our flight on Tuesday at 6AM, bound for Toronto via Minneapolis, Minnesota.

35. Northwest Airlines is THE WORST AIRLINE EVER.

36. Made it home 20 hours after we were originally scheduled too.

37. Made it through customs without having to claim my shoes!!! YAY!!!

38. Fell in Love with this guy all over again.














39. Had the best time EVER.

40. Here's to 2007