Bootlegger Ham

My Cousin sent this to me the other day. She cut it out from the Charlottetown news paper; "The Guardian".
Yes Folks, this is where I am from...a place that has a bootlegger reunion.
Most people from the Island read this and said,"only in PEI". Really though, no matter where you are from or live, every town has something like this. The difference with this, however, is I bet this entire reunion was planned through the "Bootlegger Committee" at the Charlottetown Detox Centre.
Can you just imagine the crowd of people that would be at this swanky event? I wonder what you would wear to an event like this? I'm thinking something VERY tight, like jeans that were so tight they give you the best "camel toe" and the "muffin tin" effect. Just to ensure you get lucky.
And people ask me if I would ever move back. Soon...real soon. (Before December 2ND 2007 anyway, there is NO WAY I'm missing the 3rd annual reunion)

Pickled Rack Of Ham

What's your favorite smell? Is it Kosher Dill Pickles? What?!? NO? It's not?!?! Well, its not mine either! But some people would be surprised at that answer. Some people as in my Mike...
Sundays are "our" day. Its the one day in the week that is for us. Neither of us work that day, so its spent doing things around the city, like going to the market, shopping, and just hanging out. Its also the night we actually go to bed at the same time-usually. Last sunday, I went into bed a little earlier then himself. He came in about 20 minutes later. I heard him getting ready, brushing his teeth, washing his face, etc...then I heard him in the kitchen, rattling around.
Eventually he gets into bed and I turn over to get a cuddle. Suddenly I am PUNCHED IN THE FACE WITH THE STENCH OF KOSHER DILLS!!!
Who the fuck eats 2 kosher dills AFTER brushing their teeth and BEFORE getting into bed!!!! HOLY LORD!!! What a whiffy fucker he can be!
On to another completly diffrent subject now. As some of you may know, I work as travel agent (or travel "consultant" as we say, to make us feel more important) I get really strange requests all the time. But today, this guy topped them all!
He first asked me what part of the plane is the best to sit if it crashes. What the hell kind of question is that? The answer is, No part of the plane! Then he asked me what kind of food Air Canada would be serving on his flight from Toronto to Vancouver. I told him that it would be food to purchase and free snacks. He seemed shocked by my answer. Now, if he was an 80 year old man who hasn't flown in over 20 years, I would understand, but he was 28 and told me yesterday that he fly's all the time.
He asked me if he was willing to pay, could he have a special meal for his flight. I asked him if he meant something like a diabetic meal? Yes, exactly, he said. I was 99% sure the answer was no, but I called Air Canada anyway. As my call was in Q I said to him; So diabetic, right? No, he said. A RACK OF LAMB. I almost shit my pants off, and started laughing.Not him though, he was stone faced. I couldn't even get my words out to the woman at Air Canada. Finally I managed to ask her. After waiting a good 30 seconds until she got her pants back on, the answer was; He will have to bring his own rack of lamb on his flight from Toronto to Vancouver. I hope with all my hope he does! I wish I had to fly to Vancouver that day too!