What's your favorite smell? Is it Kosher Dill Pickles? What?!? NO? It's not?!?! Well, its not mine either! But some people would be surprised at that answer. Some people as in my Mike...
Sundays are "our" day. Its the one day in the week that is for us. Neither of us work that day, so its spent doing things around the city, like going to the market, shopping, and just hanging out. Its also the night we actually go to bed at the same time-usually. Last sunday, I went into bed a little earlier then himself. He came in about 20 minutes later. I heard him getting ready, brushing his teeth, washing his face, etc...then I heard him in the kitchen, rattling around.
Eventually he gets into bed and I turn over to get a cuddle. Suddenly I am PUNCHED IN THE FACE WITH THE STENCH OF KOSHER DILLS!!!
Who the fuck eats 2 kosher dills AFTER brushing their teeth and BEFORE getting into bed!!!! HOLY LORD!!! What a whiffy fucker he can be!
On to another completly diffrent subject now. As some of you may know, I work as travel agent (or travel "consultant" as we say, to make us feel more important) I get really strange requests all the time. But today, this guy topped them all!He first asked me what part of the plane is the best to sit if it crashes. What the hell kind of question is that? The answer is, No part of the plane! Then he asked me what kind of food Air Canada would be serving on his flight from Toronto to Vancouver. I told him that it would be food to purchase and free snacks. He seemed shocked by my answer. Now, if he was an 80 year old man who hasn't flown in over 20 years, I would understand, but he was 28 and told me yesterday that he fly's all the time.
He asked me if he was willing to pay, could he have a special meal for his flight. I asked him if he meant something like a diabetic meal? Yes, exactly, he said. I was 99% sure the answer was no, but I called Air Canada anyway. As my call was in Q I said to him; So diabetic, right? No, he said. A RACK OF LAMB. I almost shit my pants off, and started laughing.Not him though, he was stone faced. I couldn't even get my words out to the woman at Air Canada. Finally I managed to ask her. After waiting a good 30 seconds until she got her pants back on, the answer was; He will have to bring his own rack of lamb on his flight from Toronto to Vancouver. I hope with all my hope he does! I wish I had to fly to Vancouver that day too!
10 comments:
Mmmmmm.....kosher dills
The gentleman wanting the plane meal... He makes me think I should carry round some kind of portable sterilisation kit, for just such an occasion.
Just in case.
re: the pickle eater...he ate is AFTER he brushed his teeth? G-FISH! that sounds almost as bad as drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth...g-r-o-s-s!
re: the flyer...was he putting you on? it sounds too weird to be true.
badgerdaddy...a sterilisation kit, or a knife and fork!
Wonderbug...yeah! AFTER his teeth were brushed! Y-U-C-K!!!!
He wasn't putting me on. Do you know how to cook a rack of Lamb?
we don't have lamb in our home and i've never cooked one ever in the past. even before the annonymous-j i've had an aversion to touching raw meat....blech
we DO have a tofurkey which i haven't cooked yet.
do you think it would be the same?
You know, in some societies, dill pickle scent is considered an aphrodisiac. It is important to point out, however, that in those same societies, there is a traditional ceremonial removing the olfactory gland. Ness, next time, shove a couple of kippers in your mouth shortly before he comes to bed...that'll learn him. Fight fire with fire...or fish with garlic.
Bug, I hardly think that rack of lamb is on the same level as tofurkey...hardly anyone goes to a posh restaurant (the Bishop's Pantry springs to mind...they can microwave anything!) and orders tofurkey. Tofurkey does sit on a COFFEE TABLE in the most attractive way, however. Very enticing.
Well at least you can rest knowing that he didn't eat feet before going to bed... or ass, that would be another bad food group to eat before going to bed.
How much you wanna bet if on death row, the guys last supper would be rack of lamb?
Damn I miss the market. I used to live kitty corner to ST.L esplanade side. Went there every weekend.
Ya'll just hatin' on a playa. Ya'll don't know me. Pickles is how I roll. (raises roof). I'm all sexy an' shit. (shakes ass).
Seriously...I love me some kosher dills.
Kat-you know, what? I think the guy actually thinks his flight to Vancouver IS death row!
Green fish-you ain't the shiznit you think you are!
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