OOOOOhhhh gotta ham it

I am so drunk right now!!! I just had my "Holiday" Party for work----------its Jan 11th!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whatever!!! or as my new saying is... What EV.
I had a blast, my boobs looked great I must say!!! I got a new bra from Victoria Secret. Its called "Very Sexy". It'll push everything up to make whatever you got look fuckin great! I got lots of complements for them. Someday I'll let them know that they have been doing a good job.
I don't think I work with ANY straight guys. Actually, one... that I know of, but I've worked with him for so long, that I think of him as my little brother... not as a "really looking at my boobs kinda of guy"
So anyway, enough of my blabbering on and on, I'll probably be pretty embarrassed of this post in days to come, but hey, live in the moment!! I really wanted to wear my Christian Louboutins out tonight but I couldn't. OOOOHHH I know........ Poor me!!!
The truth is though... I stepped on a piece of glass on Tuesday night, and it hurt like FUCK. I stepped on it with all 400lbs of weight I have. Its all the cultchie's fault. Well, not really, but I'll blame it on him, cause its easier.
But really though, I can't walk on my right foot...it hurts soooooooo bad. But even more honestly, even if I didn't step on that piece of glass, I probably wouldn't wear them. They are for the MOST SPECIAL occasions. We are even going to the "opera" for V-day so I can wear them. ( I am so dumb, I know) I actually do want to go though, I have never been. I think it will be enjoyable, especially at the new Four Seasons for the Performing Arts. ( and the fact I get a discount)
Anyway.................................... The entire reason I started THIS blog entry was because I LOVED Liz's "Movie of your Life"entry. So I am being a total copy cat.............
Here we go................

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

New Ham City

40 Things that happened Before, During and After New York.

1. Mike got questioned by the US Home Land Security Team at Toronto Pearson.
...perhaps this had something to do with it....Those glorified security guards are not huge fans of Mohawks.
















2. We got to fly on the WORST AIRLINE EVER. Northwest Airlines SUCK ASS.

3. We got to spend 4 hours in the Detroit Airport.
Surprisingly one of the coolest airports I've ever been to (strange for the poorest city in the United States...gotta love America)

4.We ate at a dodgy curry house and survived.

5. I got to live out my dream...



6...... Twice.

7. We ate at a great Italian Restaurant in Greenwich Village and had a waiter who was older then New York City. He had the shakiest hands ever, but he insisted on pouring our wine every time our glasses looked like they had a slight sip out of them. He managed to get most of the wine in the glass too. He was cool.

8. We went to a pub in the Bowery that gave 2 for one Guinness.

9. We went to the oldest Irish pub in New York City. I saw 3 willy's in less then 8 minutes. And squeezed past a load of twats to go take a piss, and left quickly afterwards.










10. I got my bangs cut, and Mike got his Mohawk more Mohawkey.















11. Got pissed at the coolest Irish Pub in New York City. Paddy Reily's.

12. Walked the shit out of the city.

13. Saw some BIG ASS Balls!














14. Walked the shit out of the city.

15. Went up and down the escalator's at Macy's... With glee.














16.Enjoyed the view from our hotel room window.














17. Thoroughly enjoyed the choice between either blistering hot, or hypothermia inducing cold showers at the Gershwin Hotel.

18. Walked the shite out of New York City.














19. Forced Mike to eat a large Pizza.














20. Waited for Mike to get a tattoo.














21. At the Chelsea hotel.

















22. Ate at the best Diner in the City, Malibu on West 23rd St. mmm...heart attack!

23.Celebrated our 3rd year anniversary at Spice Market restaurant in the Meat Packing District on New Years Eve. Super cool atmosphere, super bland food.














24. Paid $10 US for a bottle of Fiji Water. We had a choice between, "Pellegrino, Fiji or New York Tap". The waiter was a bit of a waz.

25. But I looked great!


















26. Celebrated New Years Eve at Paddy Reily's Pub.














27. Got up on a Rainy New Years Day and walked the shite out of the city.


















28. Loved every minute of it.

29. Ate some of the best pastry EVER. Probably gained about 5 pounds in 3 days.

30. Had our flight cancelled from New York to Detroit 20 minutes before boarding, due to "weather". Our flight was the ONLY flight to be cancelled in the entire New York area. Was told the next flight was not until the next morning at 6AM. Thank God we had insurance. EVERY flight out to Toronto was sold out.

31. Thanks to RBC we stayed at the Marriott Laguardia, had prime rib for dinner, bought all the snacks and magazines we could get, and made a bunch of phone calls home and had the best shower we had in 3 days.

32. All at the expense of RBC.

33. Learned early on that Northwest Airlines is THE WORST AIRLINE EVER.

34. Boarded our flight on Tuesday at 6AM, bound for Toronto via Minneapolis, Minnesota.

35. Northwest Airlines is THE WORST AIRLINE EVER.

36. Made it home 20 hours after we were originally scheduled too.

37. Made it through customs without having to claim my shoes!!! YAY!!!

38. Fell in Love with this guy all over again.














39. Had the best time EVER.

40. Here's to 2007

Bootlegger Ham

My Cousin sent this to me the other day. She cut it out from the Charlottetown news paper; "The Guardian".
Yes Folks, this is where I am from...a place that has a bootlegger reunion.
Most people from the Island read this and said,"only in PEI". Really though, no matter where you are from or live, every town has something like this. The difference with this, however, is I bet this entire reunion was planned through the "Bootlegger Committee" at the Charlottetown Detox Centre.
Can you just imagine the crowd of people that would be at this swanky event? I wonder what you would wear to an event like this? I'm thinking something VERY tight, like jeans that were so tight they give you the best "camel toe" and the "muffin tin" effect. Just to ensure you get lucky.
And people ask me if I would ever move back. Soon...real soon. (Before December 2ND 2007 anyway, there is NO WAY I'm missing the 3rd annual reunion)

Pickled Rack Of Ham

What's your favorite smell? Is it Kosher Dill Pickles? What?!? NO? It's not?!?! Well, its not mine either! But some people would be surprised at that answer. Some people as in my Mike...
Sundays are "our" day. Its the one day in the week that is for us. Neither of us work that day, so its spent doing things around the city, like going to the market, shopping, and just hanging out. Its also the night we actually go to bed at the same time-usually. Last sunday, I went into bed a little earlier then himself. He came in about 20 minutes later. I heard him getting ready, brushing his teeth, washing his face, etc...then I heard him in the kitchen, rattling around.
Eventually he gets into bed and I turn over to get a cuddle. Suddenly I am PUNCHED IN THE FACE WITH THE STENCH OF KOSHER DILLS!!!
Who the fuck eats 2 kosher dills AFTER brushing their teeth and BEFORE getting into bed!!!! HOLY LORD!!! What a whiffy fucker he can be!
On to another completly diffrent subject now. As some of you may know, I work as travel agent (or travel "consultant" as we say, to make us feel more important) I get really strange requests all the time. But today, this guy topped them all!
He first asked me what part of the plane is the best to sit if it crashes. What the hell kind of question is that? The answer is, No part of the plane! Then he asked me what kind of food Air Canada would be serving on his flight from Toronto to Vancouver. I told him that it would be food to purchase and free snacks. He seemed shocked by my answer. Now, if he was an 80 year old man who hasn't flown in over 20 years, I would understand, but he was 28 and told me yesterday that he fly's all the time.
He asked me if he was willing to pay, could he have a special meal for his flight. I asked him if he meant something like a diabetic meal? Yes, exactly, he said. I was 99% sure the answer was no, but I called Air Canada anyway. As my call was in Q I said to him; So diabetic, right? No, he said. A RACK OF LAMB. I almost shit my pants off, and started laughing.Not him though, he was stone faced. I couldn't even get my words out to the woman at Air Canada. Finally I managed to ask her. After waiting a good 30 seconds until she got her pants back on, the answer was; He will have to bring his own rack of lamb on his flight from Toronto to Vancouver. I hope with all my hope he does! I wish I had to fly to Vancouver that day too!

Ham Brawl

I CANNOT believe what happened to me on the subway tonight while I was on my way home from work!
I got on and sat down on a forward facing seat. I noticed a VERY FAT Chinese woman sitting at the end of the car facing me. She had a lot bags with her.
I was sitting there minding my own business and I notice this woman coming towards me with all her bags. I had my ipod on and I had the music pretty loud so I was kinda distracted by that. This woman was putting her "stuff" on the seat behind me.
-Then suddenly I am thrown forward and I feel a pain in my neck!! It took me a second to realize what just happened....
This woman has just elbowed me in the neck with full force!!! I was so shocked and a bit confused...
I turned around and she was acting like NOTHING had just happened. So I thought that perhaps she has so much cushioning on her arms she didn't feel herself nearly knock me out...so I sat back and she started nudging me with her elbow on my back!!
Still in shock, I turned around and and grabbed her arm and shoved it, and told her to F the hell off!!! And she still acted like nothing was happening.
I was feeling such a range of emotions, I didn't know if I was going to start to cry, or ground and pound this CRAAAAZY freak of nature!
Then!!!!!!! she went to elbow me AGAIN!!!!!! But I was leaning forward and she missed...then thankfully a man came to my rescue and told the woman to get the hell of the train before he called security!! She understood that! She got off right away!!
This is by far one of the most strangest things to have ever happen to me! And WHY ME? Did she deliberately pick me out, out of EVERYONE on the train to come and elbow me in the neck!?!?!?!

I felt so violated and strangely embarrassed. What is the best way to react in situations like that? And when everyone on the subway is staring at you?!
Who the hell does something like that? And this woman was old...well, mom old...like in her 50's!!! WHAT A SERIOUS PAIN IN THE NECK!

Lazy Ham

I don't know how well this blog thing is going. I'm finding it hard to think of stuff to write about.
This is my third attempt, maybe its because I'm really tired, I just woke-up after passing out on the couch. Only after eating Chinese food I got delivered-I was to lazy to make dinner. Actually I don't know if I was to lazy to make dinner or if I was to lazy to do the dishes in order to make dinner...both I guess.

Speaking of doing the dishes, how do you "do" the dishes? Do you have a methodical way of doing them? Glasses first, then plates then the really gross stuff, like the pots and pans? Or do you do them like my Mike and just pile them in the sink as they come, then pile them on the drying rack and have a competition with yourself to see how high you can pile them before something crashes and breaks one of your favourite wine glasses...but still feel like it was all worth because that pile you just made was a new record?
I hate doing the dishes more then any other house hold chore-HATE IT. But when I do them, I do them good. But I'd rather put up with my Mike's dish piling self competition, then do them myself.

I was late for work today because when my alarm went off ( I use my mobile for my alarm) I was in that half awake, half asleep, really stupid state and I was dreaming that my phone was actually a Caramilk bar that was making really nice music. So I put in on the floor and went back to sleep for another 45 minutes....this is my excuse for staying lazy for the day.

I'm going to bed now, without doing the dishes.

Its me.

Hello Hams!
My name is Moxy Ness. I don't know what to say just yet, my boyfriend talked me into doing this. I am a little afraid of writing a blog because I don't want to bore people to tears, I promise it will get better.
I'm trying to butter him up so he will buy me these shoes for Christmas. I NEED these shoes, they are Christian Louboutins for those of you who didn't know.
I've wanted them for 3 years now. I ALMOST bought them at Brown Thomas in Dublin when we were there on vacation 3 years ago. But it was the beginning of our stay and I was afraid we would be completely out of funds by the next week if I bought them, 550 euros was not an expense we budgeted for! I have dreamed of them ever since, so many outfits were just not complete without these shoes. Alas! We are going to New York this New Year's and finally, my Christian Louboutins will be where they are meant to be...on MY feet!
It is hard to justify spending about the same amount on shoes as we do on rent per month, but do you know how good I'll look taking the rent cheque down to the rental office?